母狼——写给所有父母

发布日期:2016-07-30 文章来源:洪兰 美国内参

 

一个朋友的孩子大学毕业半年了,没有去找工作,窝在家里,白天睡觉,晚上上网。最近跟他父母要钱,想去美国游学。朋友来问我该不该让他去?我望着他苍苍的白发说:“你如果真的要为孩子好,就让他去,但是不要给他钱。”

我想到了我妹夫的故事。他是美国人,从小就向往外面的世界,想先做水手,环游世界再回学校念书。虽然他父亲是医生,家庭经济条件许可,但父母并不给他钱,他也没向家里要,高中一毕业就先去阿拉斯加伐木存钱。因为阿拉斯加夏天日照很长,太阳到午夜才落下,三点多又升上来了,他一天如果工作16小时,伐一季木的工资可以让他环游世界。他在走遍世界两年之后才回大学去念书,因为是在自己深思熟虑之下才决定念的科系,所以三年就把四年的学分修完,出来就业。他工作得很顺利,可以说平步青云,一直做到总工程师。

有一次,妹夫告诉我一个小故事,说那件事影响了他一生:他在阿拉斯加打工时,在山上,曾与一个朋友听到狼的嗥叫声,他们很紧张地四处搜寻,结果发现是一只母狼脚被捕兽器夹住,正在哀嚎。他知道那个捕兽器是一名老工人的,他业余捕兽,卖毛皮补贴家用,但这名老人因心脏病已被直升机送到安克瑞契医院去急救了,这只母狼会因为没有人处理而饿死。

他想释放母狼,但母狼很凶,他无法靠近。他又发现母狼在滴乳,表示狼穴中还有小狼。他与同伴费了九牛二虎之力找到狼穴,将4只小狼抱到母狼处吃奶,以免饿死。

他把自己的食物分给母狼吃,以维持母狼的生命。晚上还得在母狼附近露营,保护这个狼家庭,因为母狼被夹住了,无法自卫。

一直到第5天,他去喂食时,发现母狼的尾巴稍微摇了一摇,他知道自己已开始获得它的信任了。又过了三天,母狼才让他靠近到可以把兽夹松开,把它释放出来。自由后,母狼舐了他的手,让他替它的脚上药后,才带着小狼走开,一路还频频回头望他。

他坐在大石头上想,如果人类可以让凶猛的野狼来舐他的手,成为朋友,难道就不能让另一个人放下武器成为朋友吗?他决定以后先对别人表现诚意,因为从这件事中看到,先释放出诚意,对方一定会以诚相报。他开玩笑说,如果不是这样,那就是禽兽不如。

从此,他在公司中以诚待人,先假设别人都是善意,再解释他的行为,常常帮助别人,不计较小事。所以他每年都升一级,进步得很快。最重要的是,他每天都过得很愉快,他说,助人的人是比被助的人还要快乐的人。

妹夫对我说,他一直很感谢阿拉斯加的经验,因为这使他一生受用不尽。的确,下过霜的柿子才会甜,人也是经过磨炼才会成熟,而且他知道了自己应该珍惜什么。

所以,如果一个人大学毕业了还不知道自己要什么,那么应该让他去外面磨炼一下,让他自食其力。重要的是父母要舍得放下,悟到对孩子最好的保护就是不保护,给他一个机会去证明自己、体验人生,相信他也能从中得到一生受用不尽的经验。

所以,如果一个人大学毕业了还不知道自己要什么,那么应该让他去外面磨炼一下,让他自食其力。重要的是父母要舍得放下,悟到对孩子最好的保护就是不保护。

Post Author: admin

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